Category Archives: Fred or Pro
Sadly, one of our teammates’ bike’s was stolen last night, and this isn’t the last time a bike will be stolen either. So we put together some tips to hopefully help you recover your beloved stead and catch that dirty bike thief! If you have any to add, let Rachel know.
- Scour Craigslist and eBay to see who is trying to sell it. You can also set up Google alerts or eBay search alerts with descriptions on your bike just to see if anyone posts something about it online.
- Set up your own Craigslist ad and email it to all the bike shops in the area. Sometimes thieves and pawn shops are dumb enough to call a bike shop to ask about the value of a bike. If the bike shop is aware of your stolen bike, then they can reach out to you when it happens. This happened to a teammate of ours and she was able to recover her bike!
- Pawn shops are another place to look. Call starting with your area and then expanding beyond.
- To recover your bike, you have to show proof of ownership. You can get this from your bike shop if you didn’t keep your receipt assuming they have good records. They may also have your serial number. Take lots of pictures and one of you with your bike, too.
- To the point above, because thieves can scratch off the serial number, etch the last four numbers of your social security number beneath your rear triangle. Most thieves are too dumb to look there and figure that out. It’s also undeniable proof the bike is yours if your bike is recovered by police and your serial number removed.
- File a police report! Supply them with your serial number, pics of the bike and any other identifying/unique info. If you don’t have any of these items on hand, call your bike shop and maybe they can help with proof of purchase/serial number.
- Get grassroots and make missing bicycle posters to hang around town, in coffee shops and bicycle shops. The more creative the more likely someone will be able to remember your poster and share it with others. Check out some of these posters. Include a unique but easy to remember hashtag!
- Encourage everyone to post/share your bike via social media. Create a hashtag so in case someone sees the bike, they can snap a pic, hashtag it, and post it on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram! The more eyes looking for your bike the more likely you are to find it. Make sure you include the area that you’re in, too, just in case the thief is stupid enough (because thieves are!) to ride it around in your area.
- Get renter’s insurance if you don’t have it. You can file a claim and get a new bike. If you don’t have renter’s insurance, it’s only about $150-250 per year and absolutely worth it! Happy to refer you to my insurance agent who also sponsored our team for two years:)
- If you care about your bike, EVERYONE should register their bicycles with the police. Take pics of your bikes and serial numbers (usually under the bottom bracket). Boulder, Denver, and Golden reg is below. You can Google your “city” and “bike registration” if you don’t live in any of these local areas.
What do you have to add?
If you can make it to Boulder’s Valmont Bike Park, you can also join in a public memorial the Dombroski family is holding tomorrow from 6-8 PM. You can follow the Facebook page for more updates. Ride there if you can because parking will be limited. We’ll miss you, your smile and your fierceness out there on the road and in the dirt.
Emily Z. is really into beets, but here’s a spoiler alert. She doesn’t even like them.
Beets are so hot right now. Hotter than Yerba Mate drunk from a gourd, hotter than caveman diets, hotter than trendy workout classes you’re the first to hear about, hotter even than having conflicting feelings about a certain podium-girl-butt-grabber whose redeeming qualities include the ability to strap his bikes on a roof rack without dismounting.
The quick and dirty explanation for their popularity is that the high concentration of nitrates found in beets increases blood flow and oxygen intake in the muscles, making endurance athletes faster for longer. Also, I imagine technicolor pees contribute to the appeal.
The lengths I have gone to in order to consume my pre-cyclocross beet juice has left bath tubs stained purple and been so suspicious that in one instance hotel staff peeked in the room without knocking at 3AM, I imagine to check that we weren’t cooking meth or anything equally sinister. Somehow I don’t think, “don’t worry, we were just juicing raw beets at 4AM yesterday” would have been a satisfactory explanation, anyway. Alas, some people will never understand your lifestyle.
Here’s the thing: I loathe beet juice. I’m one of those people who will eat absolutely anything put in front of her without flinching, but make me down a liquified beet and I will gag. They taste like spicy dirt to me, very literally.
I can’t overstate my relief and wonder the first time I tried the Naked Power Garden Berry Veggie juice. It’s loaded with beets, chickpeas, sweet potato and carrots, but tastes unquestionably like cherries. It’s not just delicious “for a veggie juice,” it’s just plain delicious. The morning before a race I down one, and sometimes add a scoop of Pure Clean Powder powdered beets for an extra boost, and now the days that I don’t get my veggie smoothie I feel like my legs are filled with bricks, and my results would suggest the same.
Give it a try before your next race… just as long as you aren’t racing against me.
Rachel has had her fair share of mishaps while riding in the dirt and on the road. Here’s her top 10 road side maintenance tips, and yes, they all have happened. Do you have any to add?
1. Don’t PANIC! What’s done is done and you’ll get back riding much more quickly if you keep a level head. You can’t think clearly when you’re freaking out. I know, speaking from experience here.
2. Know how to change a flat. Not that you’ve watched someone change one, but actually practice doing it.
- Always have at least 1 size appropriate tube, CO2 w/dispenser or hand pump, and two tire levers.
- Patch kit can be your best friend.
- Stand with a tire between your legs to get some leverage to roll it back on. It helps, promise.
- If you need to bum a tube from someone and it’s not the right size (too small or too big), some sizes can work in a pinch but not recommended.
- If you rip your side wall of the tire, you can use a dollar bill, tire boot or a food item wrapper to plug the hole.
- Always bring cash in case you need to buy something along the way. Also, many remote gas stations or markets only take cash.
3. Check your spare tube occasionally. Don’t just stuff it in your saddle bag and fugetaboutit! Many times I’ve had flats, my spare tube was already punctured from having been in my saddle bag. Bummer:( This is why you need a patch kit.
- To see if your tube is flat BEFORE you put in your bike, you can blow air in it. You should do this before changing your flat anyway so you don’t get a pinch flat when putting the tire back on.
4. Multi-tool. Know it, use it. I’ve had cleats come off mid-ride, head sets come loose, bolts come loose, handlebars come off, derailleurs rip off, and so on. You don’t want this to happen.
5. Weather. It’s Colorado and you always need to be prepared and dressed appropriately when it begins to snow/rain/sleet/hail etc.
- Pearl Izumi makes a great protective barrier that wads up in a tennis ball size.
- Rubber surgical gloves year round! Great for changing flats so you don’t get dirty or for warmth in a pinch. And pack really easy.
- If you must, newspaper for an extra layer in your jersey and plastic bags on your feet make for great emergency layers.
6. Broken spoke. This one is a bit tough depending on the spoke count of your wheels.
- You can use your knee to try to bend the wheel back in a less-wobbly position.
- Open your brakes up to allow the wheel to spin through.
- If you have a lighter rider with you, switch wheels so you can get back. The lighter rider will put less pressure on the weak spot in the rim and potentially prevent more spokes from breaking.
- If you’re a serious randonneur, they do make spokes on the fly called Fiber Flight.
- Check to see if your multi tool has a spoke wrench, and also, learn how to use it. (Youtube it or Google and practice on a spare set of junk wheels)
- Low spoke count wheels are great if you have a team car and your paycheck depends on you getting to the finish ahead of the other guy/girl. Get a higher spoke count wheel, especially if you’re heavier.
7. Broken Chain.
- More applicable to mountain bikes but make sure to have a chain breaker, know how to use it, and a spare pin to reattach your chain.
- You could also reuse the pin but make sure to not back it all the way out because you may lose it.
- Remove broken link by removing 2 segments of the chain at the damaged end. You need to remove 2 segments instead of 1 because the two types of segment alternate. If you just remove 1 segment you can’t re-attach it. Fixing a broken chain is no more difficult than fixing a flat tire if you’re prepared.
- You won’t be able to shift normally so make sure to not shift under a lot of load. However having a derailleur allows you to remove links more easily. If you have a single speed, it’s a little different.
- Get out those rubber gloves! This is a dirty job and you don’t want to mess up your sharp kit.
8. Broken Cable (Coincidentally encountered this tonight).
- If you have a geared bike, you can manually move your chain where it needs to go in the big and small rings (get out those rubber gloves).
- If Rear Der. goes out, you can still shift in the big and small rings up front. No biggie.
- Get cable replaced asap when you get back.
- Could be an array of reasons why this happened, but take it to a shop if you don’t know how to diagnose or change your cables.
9. Crash:( It happens.
- Straighten whatever is crooked with your multi tool (seat post, stem, wheel, etc) and scope out your helmet to make sure you it’s not broken. If you crashed in your helmet and hit your head, replace your helmet. No ifs, ands or buts. Most have a crash replacement policy and they should be replaced every 2 years anyway.
- If you have carbon bars, as much as this is a pain in the ass, you should unwrap and check to make sure your bar isn’t cracked. Never a better time to replace your bar tape, especially if it’s white.
- If you’re missing clothing, use spare clothing to cover up revealing rips in your kit.
- Make sure to scrub your road rash (you must) and buy some tegaderm! If it’s a BOGO, buy extra. (YES, that happened).
10. Prevention is a great way to avoid road-side emergencies! It’s always a good idea to simply keep your bike clean, lubed in pivot points, make sure bolts are tight (with a torque wrench) and inspect each time you clean or crash for cracks.
- “ABC Wheel Quick!” Make sure to check the following:
- Air in tires
- Brakes and Bars
- Chains and Cables (nothing fraying or obviously out of place)
- Wheel –check for trueness and spoke tension
- Quick Release – Make sure it’s tight. Nothing worse than lining up for a race and you notice your front skewer just dangling.
- USACycling’s Club of the Year
- 1st place in BRACs Rocky Mountain Road Cup Team Competition for Cat 1/2s, Cat 3s, and Cat 4s
- Many individual series wins in road, mountain and track. I’m sure cyclocross will be the same.
- Several state champions among us.
- Mountain bike, track, road and junior nationals competitors among us (and cyclocross if you count last season).
- We collected 3000 books and delivered to two different elementary schools in need for Ride for Reading this year.
- Bannock Criterium was hugely successful and saw some of the largest women’s fields to date.
- Our first year of having a club was a success and only will continue to improve and introduce more women to the sport of bicycle racing.
- We started in 2010 with 6 women and are now close to 100 with club and team combined. Wow. Just wow.
- Too many stories to recap, but it’s great to go back through our blog and see what was accomplished. We’re so impressed by all our teammates.
Day 2 of RTR: 64 miles and 3,442 elevation gain. Catch Day 1 here.
Melissa and I survived the night without getting bed bugs. We were a little concern about that. Not the best conditions in that place.
The Naked train consisted of a few more people today. Sharon, Lanier, Melissa, Sam, Kris (303Cycing), Dr. Sean, Sean’s friend Todd and Melissa’s friend Ryan.
We met at Spruce Coffee House in Cortez. At 7:30 it was time to head down the road. We had a steady 50 mile climb ahead of us. After a 15 minute warm-up the testosterone kicked in. We set off at a blistering pace. We had several people try to jump on the train but none of them could hold the pace. Finally, Sam went up to Ryan, who was pulling, and told him to dial it down. We thought about alternating boy and girl to keep the boys reined in. We were not very successful.
When we got to the top of Hesperus Hill, our 50 mile point, Lanier decided to take off. The only thing I could do is buckle down and grab her wheel. Melissa stayed on mine. Next thing I know, 3 guys hop on her wheel and they kept going faster and faster. I let them rotate and just hung on. When we got back, I asked Lanier to check her Strava to see how fast she went and it was 55 miles’s per hour! I prefer not to go over 53. Apparently, she got 6 QOM today as well as the fastest descent. Do not get in Lanier’s way on any descent.
Dr. Sean is our man slave this week. Several people have already commented that he needs to be in a Naked kit. Problem is yesterday he leaned his bike on someone’s car, left to go to the bathroom and we got yelled at. Today, Dr. Sean was leading the Naked train passed a couple of dudes without saying “passing on the left” and Lanier and I get chewed out and had to apologize. We pretended we didn’t know him. I think we are better off if Dr. Sean stays in his Alchemist monkey kit.
It was a great day that ended in massages, food and drinks. Sam told all the boys that tomorrow they need to leave their testosterone at the door.
The highlight of my day was when a woman came up to me at the massage tent and said, “I idolized you last year and your beautiful riding skills and I’ve been training this past year thinking of you and how you ride.”. She said she was so excited when I passed her today and she saw that I was here again. On RTR there is a lot of passing and at times you feel like a rock star. Then it’s back to racing and back to reality. What’s up with that?
Tomorrow we ride from Durango to Pagosa Springs, 86 miles and 3,635 elevation gain.
Sharon and her Naked buddies
Rachel divulges all the ‘roadie’ style secrets.
We know it’s ‘cross season, but no fashion rules exist in cross (but Fred or Pro rules do). The crazier the better. Instead, we chose to focus this first clinic on the dos and don’ts in the style department specifically for the road. Anyone who has seen a cyclist, especially one who would label themselves as a “racer,” knows that they all look goofy. But do they? They have worked really hard for years to perfect the roadie style, and I’m giving you all the tips in a manner of minutes. You can thank me later.
From personal experience, I’ve violated every single one of these rules. I’ve also been lucky enough to have worked in bike shops, have teammates pass down the knowledge on group rides, occasionally read things like “The Rules” and investigate some other teams who also have too much time on their hands to devote to becoming a roadie.
I’m going to reiterate one more time, THIS IS TONGUE AND CHEEK and to be taken with a grain of salt. Large grains of salt. Coarse sea salt. Honestly, I don’t care what you wear our how you look as long as you’re riding a bike (unless you’re passing me, then it’s serious).
0. Cat 5 tats don’t even deserve a number. Avoid at all costs. If you’re sporting one, watch how others around you know how to steer clear because you could potentially be a threat on a bike (and not because tattoos are all tough-looking). Also, I forgot to put this in after I finished the post, and instead of renumbering everything, it gets a 0.
1. No underwear under the chamois. I wish someone would have told me this the first season I was riding. Unfortunately, I’m sure the 15-year-old boy behind the counter at the bike shop hadn’t quite developed the words in his vocabulary. The chamois is meant for bare skin. That’s why it’s so important to have good ones (Curve Inc).
2. You must try to match at all times. Your stem and seat post must match (same color and brand). Jersey must match the shorts. Sunglasses must correspond to the helmet. Handlebar tape must match saddle. If you can match your kit to the bike, that’s even more PRO.
3. Remove the spoke protector from your bike. If your chain is hopping from the cassette into the spokes, you have bigger problems. Nothing screams beginner like a spoke protector and reflectors (unless it’s on your commuter, then the more reflectors the better).
4. Saddle bags are not for packing a picnic lunch. A good rule of thumb-the stomach test. Put your fists together like you used to do as a kid and it supposedly made the size of your stomach (I played this game as a kid, yes I was a nerd, or a great roadie in training). Your saddle bag should not hold more than your fists together. Krieg bags are the perfect size and can fit all necessities and then some–and they have character.
5. Never, never, NEVER wear a sleeveless jersey and armwarmers. EVER! Until they develop shoulder warmers or air vents to keep your shoulders cool in your jersey, don’t ever make this mistake unless you are a triathlete and want people to know that. Remember, this is becoming roadie, and it’s a very distinct style all its own.
6. Never show up for a group ride with aero bars. It’s not safe and it still happens. All. The.Time. It’s technically not allowed at bike races unless it is a time trial. And it’s simply bad form. If you have clip-ons and it’s not a time trial, this can happen… (this is also another reason to NEVER half-wheel unless you’re echeloning).
7. Bikes with aero bars are TT bikes. Not Tri bikes. End of story.
8. If you aren’t riding your bike, get out of your chamois. Any time that you aren’t riding your bike and in your kit, that does not count as “chamois time.” It’s unsanitary and can lead to saddle sores and other things that aren’t appropriate to put in this blog. If you’re riding long enough, you cannot wait to get out of your chamois.
9. Glasses on the outside of your helmet straps at all times. Two thought processes to this that I’m aware of: comfort and aerodynamics. Or how to distinguish between a non-roadie and roadie.
10. Tights, leg warmers or knee warmers go on the inside of your team shorts. You must fly the team colors at all times.
11. Chin straps are to be tied back or cut and burned. There is absolutely no need to have 4 inches of strap hanging from your chin. Pin that back or cut it off.
12. Visors on helmets are a no-no unless you’re a mountain biker. On the road, it’s not necessary. Wear a sweet cycling cap instead.
13. Know and study the following names: Cipo, Merckx, Coppi, and Anquetil. Don’t ask questions. Just do it. You should alsolook up Jeannie Longo, Alison Dunlap, Maureen Manley, Katie Compton, Kristin Armstrong, Evelyn Stevens, Georgia Gould, Marianne Vos, Connie Carpenter and the list goes on.
14. Sock height is tricky and can often be misunderstood. Here’s the general rule of thumb:
* Cyclocross-knee highs
* Track-no socks or very short socks
* Road-3 to 4 inches high
* Mountain-any of the above
15. When you are about to cross the finish line, especially if you’re first, zip up your jersey.
16. No bento boxes. This is non-negotiable unless you are in a triathlon greater than an Olympic distance.
17. Don’t be late for the group ride. It’s rude. Along these same lines, don’t pee 10 minutes into the group ride. Hold it or apologize profusely. You can also coax a teammate to stop with you and you can split the work to chase back to the pack.
18. Know these jerseys:
*Green Jersey=Sprinter’s Jersey
*Polka Dots=King of the Mountains Jersey
*White Jersey=Young Leader’s Jersey
*Yellow Jersey= (Maillot Jaune) Tour de France Leader
*Pink Jersey=(Maglia Rosa) Giro Leader and Giro Donne Leader
*Red Jersey (since 2010)= Vuelta Leader
19. If the finish line is in sight and you’re not participating in a bunch sprint, you need to ride as hard as you can until you cross the line. No sitting up, no thinking you have it, or thinking they won’t be able to catch you. Also, don’t give a premature salute.
20. Own at least one skinsuit (but NEVER wear it in a road race unless you have a team car, domestique teammate, and a pro contract). Skinsuits really do shave off time, and what adult doesn’t like wearing a onesie? Fun, fast, and most definitely pro. Get them tight enough and they also can act like a pair of spanxs. Very slimming.
21. If in doubt. Choose white.
Instead of taking several embarrassing, painstaking years to learn all this stuff, just look at #WhatBikeRacersShouldCallMe and learn everything you need to know in an hour. Though it may not make any sense until you experience the manual transformation of becoming a roadie over time.
I want to introduce all our Naked fans to the cyclists’ badge of honor. Carbon bikes and matching professional-looking kits are all important to your cool factor as a cyclist, but that’s not what I’m talking about. No, I want to introduce you the most important mark of a true cyclist, the tan lines. It’s a known fact that how distinct your tan lines are is a direct indicator of your fitness level. We start off the season in March with layers of clothes covering our skin and as the season progresses and the layers come off, our training hours increase and our skin becomes noticeably darker. And your tan lines begin to form and take shape. It doesn’t matter how much sun screen you apply and what SPF you use, come August, if you’ve trained properly and are fit, you will have very distinct tan lines on your arms, thighs and ankles that contrast with the other normal-toned portions of your body.
I first start racing my bike in 2005 while in law school and officially became a cyclist one summer day in 2005 while in line at an Einstein Bros. bagel shop. I realize that is a strange place to declare that I became a cyclist. I was wearing a tank-top, shorts and sandals. The man in line behind me said “you must be a cyclist.” Confused by how he knew that, I gave him a funny look and replied “yes”. He replied with “I could tell from your tan lines” and thus I was initiated into the Real Cyclists’ Club.
You can tell what kind of a cyclist someone is by their tan lines. Road cyclists who wear form-fitting lycra have very dramatic tan lines on their arms, thighs, and ankles. If you are a road cyclist who races for a team and wears your team kit on every ride (as we Naked ladies do), your tan lines will be very distinct. Professional cyclists have remarkable tan lines from riding 20-30 hours per week in the sun. It’s not uncommon to see these cyclists meticulously lining up their shorts prior to every ride so as to maximize tan line potential. Recreational road cyclists tend to have a myriad of different brands of cycling clothing in their closet and their jerseys and shorts of varying lengths lead to a less dramatic effect of the tan lines. Triathletes are a special breed of cyclists and so are their tan lines. Their cycling shorts tend to be shorter, their tops are often sleeveless, and sometimes they even do crazy things line wear arm-warmers with a tank top. Go figure! That mix will leave some crazy tan lines. Mountain bikes are a whole different story with their baggy shorts.
And then there are people like one young man who shall remain nameless who ended up with the weirdest tan lines I have ever seen. It was a crisp spring day and the sun was shining brightly as it does in Colorado. This young man decided to ride the trainer outdoors so as to take full advantage of the sunshine. He got a little warm while riding so took off his jersey and spun on the trainer in his bib shorts, while wearing his heart rate monitor for over an hour. Keep in mind that this young man is pasty white on every place that is typically covered by lycra. Over an hour later, the young man had finished his workout and was left with a burn on his back and shoulders that outlined both his heartrate monitor strap and his bib shorts. You can only imagine how funny it looked. (This is a good lesson to all you young readers to wear sunscreen. It took a full two years for the tan lines from that sunburn to fade.)
Cyclists on vacation at the beach are a pretty funny sight to see. Imagine an incredibly skinny man or woman, walking along in a bathing suit, their upper body quite scrawny and out of proportion with their chiseled calves and huge thighs, with an incredible contrast in skin color between their chest, upper thighs, top-most part of their biceps, and their lower arms and lower legs.
I typically wear my tan lines with pride. I don’t hesitate to wear sleeveless tops at the office, despite the comments from my co-workers regarding my arm tan lines. And I have no problem wearing sandals during the summer even though my tan stops roughly at my ankle bone where my sock height ends. The only time my tan lines have become an issue was at my wedding this summer. Arms that are tan ¾ of the way up and pale white for the upper ¼ do not a pretty bride make. Two weeks of applying self-tanner prior to the wedding did a pretty good job of helping mask my tan lines. Thank goodness.
So the next time you are out and about on your Sunday ride or at Starbucks getting your morning caffeine before heading to work, check out the tan lines of the people around you and see if you can tell what kind of cyclist they are and how much they have been training.
Warning: The author of this blog post does not endorse engaging in outdoor activities sans sunscreen in order to increase your tan lines. All tan lines should be duly earned through hours upon hours of hard training rides and proper alignment of your shorts before every ride. All outdoor activities are undertaken at your own risk and should be done only with sufficient sunscreen protection. The author highly recommends Kinesys for all your sun-blocking skin care needs.
Somehow, I was lucky enough to run across this website and have not been able to stop laughing. I was googling Euro Mullets and Cyclists(because I think they are sexy and PRO) and this gem showed up. Had to share. Thanks fredorpro.com.
Another amazing time suck–the incredible brainchild of Team JVA, Jens Voigt Army. They get it done and in a pro-like manner. I can completely appreciate the time, thought and comedy put into this site. You can spend HOURS on the Lance Armstrong Legal Defense Soundbot 6000 and since I’ve last visited, they now have added a Jens Voigt Soundboard. Already losing interest in this post as a result. “Shut up body. You do what I tell you!” Thanks, I’m going to go play now and increase their page view analytics. ~Rachel