Category Archives: Club
Testing Positive
In light of recent (read as gone on way to freakin’ long) news and interviews in the world of cycling I thought I would add some positivity to our beloved sport. Things to know before reading…
- I have not been a “competitive cyclist” for a year yet so what the heck do I really know
- I hate drama so I pretend like it is not happening by shoving my fingers in my ears and tap dancing
- Coffee is really kicking in already so this could be like reading a crack junkies journals
Remember when you were a kid and you learned to ride a bike? What an accomplishment that was and the world was immediately different. You had wheels and freedom and speed and streamers on your handlebars if you were really lucky! At first just riding up and down the street under parental supervision was all it took to make life so exciting. Soon my riding turned into meeting friends and riding to the boundaries our parents had set up for hours and hours. Then of course we had to build ramps and try catching big air that was probably more like 3-5 inches but hey I felt like I was flying. Riding bikes were fun and that was the end of the story. I was hooked.
A little later in life I found other hobbies that took me away from any physical activity whatsoever so there went bikes all together… sad face but hey this will come around I promise. I eventually (a year and a half ago) began cycling for exercise and that was the first time I had been on a bike again since I was probably 12. Did you know that even though it had been (cough 16 years cough) a large amount of time it was just like riding a bike. I knew that in order to stay upright I just had to keep moving forward. Side bar: Ok is it just me or is that some kind of analogy for life?
Anywho, I immediately loved riding my bike again. My lady parts maybe not so much but Helga has come to terms with my new hobby and hates me and my bike less. Since I was a “runner” at that time (read as a woggler = walk/jog) I started to see the differences pretty quickly when I got back on the saddle. Those differences then turned into me joining a team and becoming a racing junky. But here for you now I shall bullet point some of the reasons why I feel so positive about this wacky sport we call cycling.
- Some of my best thinking happens when I am pedaling. It can be just you and your bike with an open road/trail ahead of you with miles and miles of thinking/de-stressing. It’s like therapy but cheaper.. kind of… sorry Dr Amanda 1.0
- While biking you can opt to not pedal for a moment or six and still be moving along. If you were to stop running and try to coast you would now be standing still. Sometimes a coast or draft is a beautiful beautiful thing. Thanks again Lanier Allen, Tami Burke, and Sharon Madison for the view of your Naked butts yesterday…I enjoy them more than you probably know!
- Even on your hardest day on the bike you still just got to ride a bike and that is a priceless privilege that should not be forgotten
- You can make a ton of friends and if you are as lucky as I am some of those friends become your family.. not in a polygamy kind of way but more like a Sister Sledge “We Are Family” way .
- You get to see parts of the world from view points many people don’t get to. Yes you might have to climb to see them but it is ALWAYS worth it at the top
- Flying down a mountain pass that you just conquered makes you feel like you are 9 again ramping off of a dirt mound with your wonder woman cape on
- Pushing yourself to your limits and overcoming something you weren’t sure you could is unlike any other high
- Getting to sport your team kit for the first time is the coolest feeling. I raced several races this year before my kit came in and I remember so badly just wanting to squeeze my bod into that Naked lycra… it was like Christmas when they came in! I took off of work early so I could go pick them up myself because I wanted mine first.
- Lining up at the start line with all the training time, preparation, nutrition, dedication, adrenaline, nerves, vomit that is running through your brain and veins at that moment can seem unnerving but then at that very moment when you are considering wetting your chamois your teammate leans over and makes some smart @$$ comment about planning to rock out with her _____ out and you forget all that other stuff and just crack up laughing. It’s the funnest time.
- Getting to be a part of something NOT about yourself but about your teammates/friends/family and their aspirations and dreams is so rewarding. If you can then help them in any way it’s the icing on the Powerbar, which are delicious btw. It’s not about you anymore, it’s about your team and those wonderful individuals who love cycling just like you do and work as hard (or harder) which makes you want to ride even more and with your whole heart.
So yeah I went all kind of sappy and off topic and I made another pot of coffee but hey don’t judge me. What this all boils down to is I have decided I like bullet points when writing and wanted to try it out. No really seriously yeah there is some junk clogging the engine of the sport but it is so not about that. It is a weird and hard time to be called a competitive cyclist but it’s not about that. I didn’t start riding my bike to be cool like, insert any pro name you would like, I started riding my bike again to get some exercise and to feel like a kid again. Because of those two reasons I have found out who I really am as a human being. I am a dork, a bit OCD, have a fake it till you make it mentality, not a climber but secretly like it, a team player, a wee bit competitive, a Facebook stalker, a need for speed wanna be sprinter, flats are my friend, curbs are not my friend, my high fives cure many problems, start line jokes are my thing, I like a challenge, I like to be pushed, I love my bike on a good day and on a bad day, I love the sport, I love love love my team.
This sport is so exciting and contagious I only wish more people knew that and then everybody would be doing it! This team is unbelievable and I tell people all the time I feel like I won the lotto by getting to be a part of it. The friendships on the team and from the other women racing out there… I don’t have the words to describe. It is a community of hard work and respect and smiles and laughter. You get out of it what you put in to it and it can be life changing. Can you tell I am biased and hooked?
There is my attempt at positive rambling today. I really hope you get to ride your bike today. If you need someone to ride with let me know. I love riding my bike.
Experiencing The Sufferfest’s ‘The Wretched’
We couldn’t be more stoked for two additions to the team: Marlene and The Sufferfest. But when those worlds collide, we’re not sure if they get along so much. We’ll see if this no-drama policy holds for these two.
I woke up at 5:45 AM this morning. Scrunching open an eye, I noticed it was still dark outside and rolled over to go back to sleep. But suddenly it hit me and I quickly sat up, this was training day. I can’t loiter in bed this morning.
I jumped up, launching a cat off the bed and headed to the kitchen to grab a snack before the video started. No, not popcorn. It’s not that kind of video. I gulped a few mouthfuls of my favorite Naked Juice, Green Machine. I knew I would need the carbs to make it through this Sufferfest. Wishing I was wearing my Naked Women’s team kit from Curve, I entered the torture chamber. After installing my bike onto my Cascade FluidPro trainer, I started the fan, booted up the computer, and nervously awaited the start of my ride.
Apparently I’ve been fluffing my training, The Wretched explained to me. I wasn’t living up to my potential. This was my chance to redeem myself. I would be racing against the best, and I had to win enough bus fare to pay for my trip home to Sufferlandria or I would be walking. I had 48 minutes to prove my worth. My cats walked by and snickered at me. They had no faith.
The video kicked in with encouraging music. My warm up period. This was nice. A steady pace to get the body moving. What was I nervous about? After seven minutes, I was headed to the start line. A Tour de France stage compacted into 35 minutes, just for me. What’s 35 minutes? Anyone can handle that, right? I started to relax.
As I hit the first ascent, I felt good. I had this under control. That is, until The Wretched commanded, “ATTACK! Stand UP! Don’t let them get away!” Not one to argue, I jumped in with an RPE of 8. A minute later, I was told to ease off and sit down. That wasn’t so bad, I thought. But once again, “ATTACK!” I was back up out of my seat and climbing. I was breathing hard, trying to hold on, going for QOM. But The Wretched sadly informed me that I didn’t make it. To enjoy the downhill and to remember that I needed to earn my bus fare home. And then a brief warning, get ready for the next ascent.
This video had me standing, climbing, sprinting, down in my drops and leaning into the curves. I wanted the QOM on this next climb. There was no way I was walking back to Sufferlandria. So I sucked the tires of Cadel and Tejay. They tried to break away, but I stuck with them. I felt like I was going to lose my precious gulps of Green Machine. I glanced down next to my bike and noticed a bucket sitting there while my cats curled up nearby, smugly watching me suffer. “CLIMB!” The Wretched demanded. And so I did. And I took KOM. I was informed that I had just earned enough money to cover bus fare home.
But forget the bus fare, now it was time to go for the glory and win the stage!
The final climb was pure agony. I begged Alberto to pull me to the top, but he was too slow so I had to drop him. I was suffering. I was standing and climbing, climbing and standing. There seemed to be no end to the torture. The floor was glistening with my sweat and tears. I dug deep. “Find your courage,” The Wretched ordered. And when I thought I had no more to give, there he was. Jens. Right in front of me. He looked over his shoulder and saw me, and the sprint to the finish was ON. “You’re going down, Jens!” I screamed. My cats were pumping their little kitty paws in the air. My neighbor in the apartment below was banging on her ceiling, but I didn’t care. This stage was mine! My RPE was a 10. I was laying it all out there. I was going to be the hero of Sufferlandria. And just when I thought I had no more to give, I crossed the finish line. In. First. Place.
With a towel thrown over my shoulder, I pedaled easily. I wondered if it was too early for champagne, while I listened to the cheers of the adoring crowd. A warm feeling of satisfaction quickly overcame the memory of suffering. I looked out my apartment window to see a few snowflakes floating lazily down.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bus to catch.
Naked Women’s Racing Awarded USA Cycling 2012 Club of the Year
NOTE: This award wouldn’t be possible without the support of our 2012 sponsors. They believed in us since day one. Special thanks to Naked, Prerace.com, Spine One, TriBella Women’s Multisport, Partners In Women’s Health, Prestige Imports, Curve Inc., Kinesys, Power Bar, Handlebar Mustache, Rudy Project and DT Swiss. Thank YOU for supporting women’s cycling!
Colorado Springs, Colo. (December 17, 2012) – USA Cycling is excited to announce the winners of its 2012 “Club of the Year” awards! Three clubs earned overall “Club of the Year” honors in divisions I, II, and III and an additional eight clubs earned special awards in the junior/interscholastic, masters, women’s, new club, track, mountain bike, cyclo-cross, and collegiate categories.
In addition to bragging rights, the winning clubs will receive a trophy and complimentary renewal fees for 2013. Congratulations to our winners!
Division I – Team Dayton Bicycling (Dayton, Ohio)
Division II – Northwest Cycling Club (Houston, Texas)
Division III – Ghisallo Foundation (Austin, Texas)
Junior/Interscholastic - Team Velosport/ Sho- Air/ Rock ‘n Road (Irvine, Calif.)
Masters - Cross Creek Cycling (Fayetteville, N.C.)
Women – Naked Women’s Racing p/b TriBella (Boulder, Colo.)
Best New Club – East Aurora Racing Club (East Aurora, N.Y.)
Track – Rubicon Cycling LLC: Project London 2012 (Vancouver, Wash.)
Mountain Bike – Whole Athlete/Specialized Cycling Team (Woodacre, Calif.)
Cyclo-cross – Snakebite Racing (Lakewood, Ohio)
Collegiate – MIT Cycling (Cambridge, Mass.)
Winning clubs were chosen for exhibiting excellence in several areas including race promotion, membership composition, instructional clinics and seminars, club activities, charity work, and race performance. Here’s a break-down of what our 2012 Clubs of the Year have been up to.
Twas the Night Before Naked Style
Twas the morning of December 15th, when all through the city
Not a cyclist was riding, not even a Madison.
The trainers were set up by the tv with hate,
In hopes that Spring soon would be there.
The computrainer women were nestled all snug on their bikes,
While visions of outdoor riding danced in their heads.
And me with my hangover, and laziness to boot,
Had just settled my stomach for a short winter’s ride.
When out on the trail there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my saddle to see what was the matter.
Away to the reservoir I rode like a sloth,
Forgot about my heart rate monitor and threw out my training plan.
The sun never came on the new-fallen snow
Gave gloom and doom to the road below.
When, what to my watering eyes should appear,
But a group ride with a 5 cyclist train.
With a wheel sucking leader, so spunky and steady,
I knew in a moment it must be Naked ladies.
More rapid than eagles their train they came,
And she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“Now Eva! Now Margo and Marlene!
On, Naked! On, Naked! on Naked Ladies Cycling!
To the top of the hill! To the bottom of the descent!
Now sprint away! Sprint away! Sprint away all!”
As dry leaves that fly from the wild hurricane winds,
When they meet with a headwind, mount to a paceline.
So up to the resy the cyclist they flew,
With their jerseys full of cookies, and water bottles too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the road
The clacking and shifting of each little gear.
As I gasped for air, and was about to turn around,
Down the trail Lanier Allen came for an attack.
She was dressed all in lycra, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all shiny with zippers and reflectors.
A bundle of speed she had flung from the back,
And she looked like a pro, just putting a gap on the pack.
Her eyes-how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a faucet!
Her freakish massive quads were drawn up like a hammer,
And the beard of her chin was a little alarming.
The stump of a Powerbar she held tight in her teeth,
And the boost it created her speed like a missile.
She had chiseled legs and zero percent body fat,
That never would shake, not even freakin’ wiggle!
She was fit and lean, a right obnoxious old sprinter,
And my legs hurt when I saw her, in spite of my speed!
A wink of her eye and a flick of her elbow,
Soon gave me to know I had no chance of catching her.
She spoke not a word, but went straight to the front,
And picked up the pace, then picked it up more.
And laying on the pedals aside of her bike,
And giving a pull, up the reservoir she rose!
She sprang from her saddle, to give me a taunting,
And away they all flew like a bat out of hell.
But I heard her exclaim, ‘ere she rode out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-ride!”
Cranksgiving Naked Style
“Cranksgiving is a charity bike ride that began in 1999, organized by New York City bike messengers. Food is collected at grocery store checkpoints and then after being collected at the end of the race, will be donated to a local food bank. All kinds of cyclists are welcome! There is no set course, and you can ride at your own pace. Cranksgiving – Boulder is an effort by Boulder Cycle Sport to give back to those in need during the holidays. Furthermore, this event is to bring community awareness to support locally and independently owned business.”
11 Naked members/friends/kids participated as a team in the 2012 Cranksgiving in Boulder on Sunday. The event might appear to be a family friendly ride collecting can goods for a local food bank but was actually something a bit more hard core. It is more like a UFC cage match + roller derby + super market sweep + bumper cars. Yeah, like I said… hard core.
It would be impossible to give a play by play of this massacre, I mean madness, woops woops how about blood bath but here are a few tidbits from Team Naked…
“I don’t know what happened.. they said go and it was mass chaos..turkeys and burleys and bikes everywhere..I was scared”
“Oh my god she just flipped her baby burly trailer over when she hopped that curb”
“Man down man down…I tried to go in the sliding exit door but my arm, my poor arm didn’t make it”
“Where is $^#*@&% neutral wheel support..this tube change is killing our time”
“Don’t worry if the tuna isn’t dolphin free just grab it and go”
“Crits have nothing on Cranksgiving”
“Run through the store Tami don’t walk, get your head in the game”
“ooooo free samples!”
“I’m in my red zone.. seriously zone 5+ guys”
“I just got out sprinted by a 9 year old with a turkey on his bike”
“Did someone say free beer at the end?!?!”
Riding bikes on a gorgeous fall day with friends to help the less fortunate was one of my highlights of this cycling/racing/socializing year. We had everything from mechanicals to injuries but more than anything we had laughs. We didn’t win but who was racing right (umm just so you know you can take the racers out of the race but you cant take the race out of the racers). Overall the day was a ton o’ fun with some pretty amazing women remembering the reason for season…free beer!
HAPPY CRANKSGIVING!
Club Team: The First Step is the Hardest
PRO or NO: Becoming Roadie
Rachel divulges all the ‘roadie’ style secrets.
We know it’s ‘cross season, but no fashion rules exist in cross (but Fred or Pro rules do). The crazier the better. Instead, we chose to focus this first clinic on the dos and don’ts in the style department specifically for the road. Anyone who has seen a cyclist, especially one who would label themselves as a “racer,” knows that they all look goofy. But do they? They have worked really hard for years to perfect the roadie style, and I’m giving you all the tips in a manner of minutes. You can thank me later.
From personal experience, I’ve violated every single one of these rules. I’ve also been lucky enough to have worked in bike shops, have teammates pass down the knowledge on group rides, occasionally read things like “The Rules” and investigate some other teams who also have too much time on their hands to devote to becoming a roadie.
I’m going to reiterate one more time, THIS IS TONGUE AND CHEEK and to be taken with a grain of salt. Large grains of salt. Coarse sea salt. Honestly, I don’t care what you wear our how you look as long as you’re riding a bike (unless you’re passing me, then it’s serious).
The Basics
0. Cat 5 tats don’t even deserve a number. Avoid at all costs. If you’re sporting one, watch how others around you know how to steer clear because you could potentially be a threat on a bike (and not because tattoos are all tough-looking). Also, I forgot to put this in after I finished the post, and instead of renumbering everything, it gets a 0.
1. No underwear under the chamois. I wish someone would have told me this the first season I was riding. Unfortunately, I’m sure the 15-year-old boy behind the counter at the bike shop hadn’t quite developed the words in his vocabulary. The chamois is meant for bare skin. That’s why it’s so important to have good ones (Curve Inc).
2. You must try to match at all times. Your stem and seat post must match (same color and brand). Jersey must match the shorts. Sunglasses must correspond to the helmet. Handlebar tape must match saddle. If you can match your kit to the bike, that’s even more PRO.
Beyond PRO. Most PRO references include Cipo.
3. Remove the spoke protector from your bike. If your chain is hopping from the cassette into the spokes, you have bigger problems. Nothing screams beginner like a spoke protector and reflectors (unless it’s on your commuter, then the more reflectors the better).
4. Saddle bags are not for packing a picnic lunch. A good rule of thumb-the stomach test. Put your fists together like you used to do as a kid and it supposedly made the size of your stomach (I played this game as a kid, yes I was a nerd, or a great roadie in training). Your saddle bag should not hold more than your fists together. Krieg bags are the perfect size and can fit all necessities and then some–and they have character.
Next Steps
5. Never, never, NEVER wear a sleeveless jersey and armwarmers. EVER! Until they develop shoulder warmers or air vents to keep your shoulders cool in your jersey, don’t ever make this mistake unless you are a triathlete and want people to know that. Remember, this is becoming roadie, and it’s a very distinct style all its own.
6. Never show up for a group ride with aero bars. It’s not safe and it still happens. All. The.Time. It’s technically not allowed at bike races unless it is a time trial. And it’s simply bad form. If you have clip-ons and it’s not a time trial, this can happen… (this is also another reason to NEVER half-wheel unless you’re echeloning).
7. Bikes with aero bars are TT bikes. Not Tri bikes. End of story.
8. If you aren’t riding your bike, get out of your chamois. Any time that you aren’t riding your bike and in your kit, that does not count as “chamois time.” It’s unsanitary and can lead to saddle sores and other things that aren’t appropriate to put in this blog. If you’re riding long enough, you cannot wait to get out of your chamois.
The Nuances
9. Glasses on the outside of your helmet straps at all times. Two thought processes to this that I’m aware of: comfort and aerodynamics. Or how to distinguish between a non-roadie and roadie.
10. Tights, leg warmers or knee warmers go on the inside of your team shorts. You must fly the team colors at all times.
11. Chin straps are to be tied back or cut and burned. There is absolutely no need to have 4 inches of strap hanging from your chin. Pin that back or cut it off.
12. Visors on helmets are a no-no unless you’re a mountain biker. On the road, it’s not necessary. Wear a sweet cycling cap instead.
13. Know and study the following names: Cipo, Merckx, Coppi, and Anquetil. Don’t ask questions. Just do it. You should alsolook up Jeannie Longo, Alison Dunlap, Maureen Manley, Katie Compton, Kristin Armstrong, Evelyn Stevens, Georgia Gould, Marianne Vos, Connie Carpenter and the list goes on.
14. Sock height is tricky and can often be misunderstood. Here’s the general rule of thumb:
* Cyclocross-knee highs
* Track-no socks or very short socks
* Road-3 to 4 inches high
* Mountain-any of the above
*BMX-no idea
*Triathlon-compression socks
15. When you are about to cross the finish line, especially if you’re first, zip up your jersey.
Extra Credit
16. No bento boxes. This is non-negotiable unless you are in a triathlon greater than an Olympic distance.
17. Don’t be late for the group ride. It’s rude. Along these same lines, don’t pee 10 minutes into the group ride. Hold it or apologize profusely. You can also coax a teammate to stop with you and you can split the work to chase back to the pack.
18. Know these jerseys:
*Green Jersey=Sprinter’s Jersey
*Polka Dots=King of the Mountains Jersey
*White Jersey=Young Leader’s Jersey
*Yellow Jersey= (Maillot Jaune) Tour de France Leader
*Pink Jersey=(Maglia Rosa) Giro Leader and Giro Donne Leader
*Red Jersey (since 2010)= Vuelta Leader
19. If the finish line is in sight and you’re not participating in a bunch sprint, you need to ride as hard as you can until you cross the line. No sitting up, no thinking you have it, or thinking they won’t be able to catch you. Also, don’t give a premature salute.
20. Own at least one skinsuit (but NEVER wear it in a road race unless you have a team car, domestique teammate, and a pro contract). Skinsuits really do shave off time, and what adult doesn’t like wearing a onesie? Fun, fast, and most definitely pro. Get them tight enough and they also can act like a pair of spanxs. Very slimming.
21. If in doubt. Choose white.
Instead of taking several embarrassing, painstaking years to learn all this stuff, just look at #WhatBikeRacersShouldCallMe and learn everything you need to know in an hour. Though it may not make any sense until you experience the manual transformation of becoming a roadie over time.
Race Team is Full. Club Team Still OPEN!
We’ve had nearly 60 applicants to the race and club teams and read through each and every one. We wish we could take all racers, but due to budgeting constraints, it’s impossible to do so. At this time, the race team is full. If you’re looking to join a women’s team, please visit the Bicycle Racing Association of Colorado for a list of women’s teams. Or feel free to email us and we can point you in the direction of several friendly, competitive women’s teams.
We do still have spots open on the club team with opportunities to move to the race team throughout the season! Come and be a part of our team in a relaxed, club environment. You’ll learn through our skills clinics, have a group ride scheduled every week, wear our awesome kits, get great discounts, and much, much more! Visit our JOIN PAGE for more details.
Deadline is OCTOBER 1st for the Club Team so DON’T WAIT!
